The Myth of "Same Effort"

🎙️ Episode 2: The Myth of Same Effort

They say, “You give your best at work — why not at home?” But leadership isn’t about giving the same effort in every room — it’s about offering the right presence for the audience that matters. In this episode, we dismantle the myth that equal effort across roles proves commitment. Instead, we explore how true leadership requires calibration, not duplication.

Host Lionel Murphy shares a deeply personal story from his time as a motorcycle officer, revealing the silent cost of emotional transitions, and the importance of rituals that help us truly come home. Whether you’re leading at work, at home, or both, this episode will help you recognize where your presence is needed most.

🔑 Topics include:

• Emotional leadership vs. performance
• Calibrating your energy across roles
• First responder stress transitions
• Leadership lessons from horsemanship
• How misapplied effort leads to disconnection

👣 Walk away with practical steps to decompress, reconnect, and lead with discernment — not just duty.

References:

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. Crown Publishers.
 
 Johnson, S. M. (2008). Hold me tight: Seven conversations for a lifetime of love. Little, Brown Spark.
 
 Murphy, L. K. (2025). Experiential Leadership Theory: Leadership Development through Horsemanship. BAE Publications.

Chapters

• 0:00 Cold Open: The Myth of Equal Effort Exploring the unseen cost of emotional transitions from work to home.
• 1:04 Intro: Challenging Clichés -Why Living Beyond Average is about dismantling leadership myths.
• 2:10 Personal Story: Motorcycle Officer Reflections - Lionel’s story about the weight of staying in uniform — physically and emotionally.
• 5:40 The Shift: Trying Doesn’t Always Mean Caring -Differentiating emotional absence from physical presence.
• 7:20 Quote Breakdown: “Know Your Audience” -Lessons from high school choir and energy calibration in leadership.
• 9:15 Cliché Dissection: Same Effort, Different Results -Why “try equally hard at home” misses the point of aligned leadership.
• 10:58 Male vs. Female Lens -How men and women often interpret effort and presence differently.
• 12:30 Horsemanship Metaphor -What a horse’s cool-down teaches us about decompressing at home.
• 14:05 Practical Applications -Rituals and tools for emotional reentry and presence-building.
• 15:08 Closing Challenge: Lead with Discernment -This week’s call to action for leadership through calibrated presence.